Tom Hespos

"Look, you're going to see that jerk who bullied you in high school. It's inevitable. Just get it over with, because there really isn't another bar in town. The good news? Service is great here."

"Sushi, sashimi, raw bar"

"If somebody offers you a shot with pickle juice in it, do it. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Don't do this."

"Good luck parking!"

"In the mad rush to get out of the south side parking lot, remember that the stop signs are not four-way. Watch for crazed commuters who are incredibly careless in their quest to get home."