Chris

"Now that the time of year is close to when sant comes down everyone's chimney. The restaurant is closed, the Scooby snack shop is closed and I'm down my last tea bag. He'll on earth I hear you say..."

"If your plane is delayed then sit on your bum. It's better than the alternative"

"I think im pregnant."

"Make sure u know u r the most handsome wallet in the joint. Then fun is what u will have. If u think u r all that then u is a woman's willy.. Or a twat."

"Having a nice cold beer and some Irish stew. It's great"

"Drink till u is drunk... And beyond"