Christian La Mont

"You want a tip? Don't text and drive. Actually, don't touch your phone while you're driving or even sitting in traffic. Not worth it. Tickets for texting only double and triple each subsequent time."

"Be nice to the one called the General."

"Park at the Hollywood/Highland complex or take the shuttle from the Grove. Bring your $6 Trader Joe's Malbec, some cheeses and meats. Forget the $30+ tix, the real fun is in the nosebleeds @ $10 a pop"

"Ask the Captain of one of the last working steam ships if you can help steer around the "Rivers of America". Not only will you get to blow the steam whistle, you also get a printed certificate. Sweet."

"Go to Sculpture Garden to take in some of LA's most serene moments. Between the Tarpits and Urban Light are some delightful benches, perfect shade and awesome Rodin sculptures. LACMA has wifi."

"Hit up the La Brea Tarpits and don't be afraid to ask the working paleontologists anything you've ever wanted to know about sabertoothed tigers and mammoths. Foodtrucks on Wilshire are great for lunch"