Nick Moses

"Hopefully you're eating here ironically. If not, the help you need is beyond the scale of a brief tip."

"A lovely symbol of the United Kingdom's cultural backwardness. While other countries fought tooth and nail to end feudalism, the UK embraces its history of class oppression."

"I've gotten through LAX, JFK, Boston, Newark, SJU, and a million other airports with 4.0-4.5 oz containers of fluid with no trouble but the TSA here of all places made me check them :O"

"Today he told us that if you can make it through your entire Penn State career without masturbating, you should get a diploma made out of gold."

"There's a free CATA bus app that shows you where your bus is"

"Everything is one dollar, legit. And they have yummy warhead cube candy (:"